La Defense and the Louvre (a.k.a. hardened criminals)

Today, Meg and I took on the system. In short, we fought the law, and, as we should have been musically warned, the law won.

We wanted to do something modest in preparation for an evening at the Louvre, so we thought taking the train out to La Defense was a good option. Silly we.

Consulting the official RATP metro map, we determined that La Defense was in Zone 2, and our passes were valid for the journey. The RER took us out there from the centre in a matter of minutes, and we ascended to our nearest exit. If only we could find it… we tried a very foul smelling lift, two escalators and considered jumping a turnstile before returning to the platform and finding the right one.

We strode confidently to the line of ticket inspectors, without our scam antennae registering (shame on us). They gleefully checked our travel passes and our guard informed us that we were not authorised to travel to La Defense. We whipped out the metro map and asked for an explanation, which was somewhat hard to apprehend.

Guard: “This is zone 3.”
Us: (with map) “It says zone 2 here.”
Guard: “No, the RER is ALL zone 3.”
Us: “The entire RER is zone 3?”
Guard: “Yes.”
Us: “So, Invalides, Pont de l’Alma; these are all zone 3?”
Guard: “No, that is zone 1.”
Us: “Where are we?”
Guard: “Zone 3.”
Us: “But the map says it’s zone 2.”
Guard: “That’s the metro map.”
Us: “The RER is shown in zone 2 on the metro map.”
Guard: “This is zone 3. Look at the RER map.”
Us: “It’s in zone 2 on the RER map.”
Guard: “No, no, if you had a BIG map” - (expansive gesture) - “you would be able to see that it is in zone 3.”
Us: “This is YOUR map!”
Guard: “Meh.”
Us: “So, can we get out?”
Guard: “You pay me a fine and I give you a ticket and you can go outside, see la Grande Arche, enjoy la Defense…” (really trying to sell the experience)
Us: “Then what?”
Guard: “What?”
Us: “How do we get back into Paris?”
Guard: (Gallic shrug) “Ngh, ce n’est pas possible.”
Us: “It’s not possible??!”
Guard: “No, this is zone 3, your tickets are for zone 1 and 2. Ce n’est pas possible.”
Us: “What about the metro?”
Guard: “Ce n’est pas possible.” (I was ready to resort to violence at this point, and even Meg looked ready to deck the guy)
Us: “Can we take line 1 into Paris?”
Guard: “Oh. Yes. Now, usually we charge €25 for each person, but for you I will charge only one fine.”
Us: “…?”

The sad thing is, our experience of Paris has been pretty positive, and I really like the place and have enjoyed meeting the locals, but this left us with the distinct impression that the city was willing to misguide visitors to get as much money out of them as possible. And it’s not like it’s a cheap city to start with. I’m writing a letter.

La Defense is a large area of modernity in a very historic city, with the skyscrapers and big businesses clustered around a huge archway, also filled with office space. Here’s Meg looking winsome.

La Defense was not worth €12.50 each, but it was on the list, and we did want to go, for reasons of comprehensiveness. It may only be 19 years old, but the Grande Arche looks like it could do with some love.

There’s a view back into Paris along the Champs Elysées, with the Arc de Triomphe bite size in the distance.

This is the view that people come to see, but I thought the view the other way was more interesting, and gave us a fleeting sense of life beyond Paris in the Île de France.

Behind us, Paris; before us, all France!

So, naturally, we got back on the metro and I took my computer to Meg’s to upload some photos. Ah well. Conquest can wait.

In the evening we went to the Louvre, which is open late and free to under-26s on Friday.

Meg got in last week as they were waving younger people through, but unfortunately they were checking IDs so she decided not to pay to get in. I went on alone.

I won’t bore you with everything I saw. I’m going to make a Louvre photo album for those interested in some of the archaeological stuff I saw. I wanted to see the Spanish collection, which lay at the other end of the massive Italian collection. My route took me through a gallery with a rather impressive ceiling.

I also wandered by the Mona Lisa.

I have to admit, I still don’t quite get it, but this time I saw the Mona Lisa (in rather better surroundings these days) I noticed two things. One is that the colour is better than it looks in reproductions. The second is that, at least “in person”, the painting does seem to exude a serenity that is easy to miss without seeing it close up. Generally, I like it more now than I did.

I saw the Venus de Milo again, entirely by accident – it’s hard to miss, though I wasn’t actively trying to avoid it or anything.

The Louvre has one of the best – possibly the second best – Egyptian collections in the world, and as it was en route to the Levant collection, I toured those galleries.

Of course, I was really excited (in that sad way) to see real artefacts from Tyre, Sidon, Byblos, Phonecia, and all those places. I was struck by the great age – three to four thousand years – of these miniscule pieces of Egyptian jewellery, and the grander necklaces and headdresses, as it’s hard to imagine them actually being worn by people that long ago. They had a huge collection of Persian stuff, including walls and walls full of decoration from the palace of Darius and even entire pillars from Susa and Persepolis.

I emerged from deep within the pyramid (again, Dan Brown, the numerology of the panes of glass was off) to a wild and fascinating sky, and a not-deserted but serene square. I was reluctant to leave but did eventually – not before taking a good number of pictures.

I had a hard time finding a bus, so it took me an hour to get home, after walking halfway up to the opera to find a bus stop, discovering my bus had terminated for the weekend, catching one to Gare St-Lazare and taking the metro from there.